Collected wisdom

Every now and then, someone sends me a letter or article that I think is worthy of sharing with others. As I get these, I add them here. For those of you who are transitioning early in life, I also have a special section called A little help from my friends that has advice from others who did this in their teens or early twenties.

LINK: So You Want to be a T-Girl: a reality check for those (especially late transitioners) who think of this as a sexualized fantasy. [archive.org]

What I did right: Thoughts from a reader who has recently finished most physical aspects of transition.

Confidence: Great suggestions on building self-esteem.

Low pay and transition: some good suggestions for those who feel the money pinch.

Kim's work transition: A good piece on how things might go, and why sticking it out can get tough.

Tatt4Trannies: A great sendup of sites that gouge the TG community.

Everybody's Free (To Start Electrolysis): A lighthearted collection of great observations and excellent advice.

Reasons: A nice essay from someone who's in the middle of transition as she writes.

The 7DS Theory of Transsexuality: An excellent counterpoint to a certain attempt to explain motivation for transition.

The DIANATI: A wickedly funny riff on the COGIATI gender test.

Life after you're "done": A beautiful piece on life after the physical aspects of transition are completed.

The Cycle of Change: An excellent overview of issues surrounding coming out.

FAQs about transsexuality: A nice piece written to help co-workers understand.

Mid-20's observations: A short piece by someone who's recently gone full-time.

How lies affect spouses of TGs: From a woman who was deeply hurt by her ex-spouse.

Sex identity: A long but interesting article on trans issues from a social worker who transitioned.

Making it: From someone who got through the tough part.

Immigrants: An empowering piece by a reader.

The T-Word: An editorial on the long-running debate about defintions.

Exhibit closed: An essay on stealth, dating, and long-term transition.


Would you like to make an anonymous contribution?

If you have any advice you'd like to share, please contact me , and I'll give it a permanent (and anonymous) home.

First and foremost: your identity will never be revealed to anyone! I am absolutely aware of how difficult it is to be stealth, and I would never, ever jeopardize that. Two of my closest TS friends are totally stealth, and I am in contact with many members of the community who are also stealth. Even those of us who aren't stealth value our privacy, and I take great pains to assure that anonymous contributors remain anonymous.

I will not put your advice on my site with your real name.

I will not include any contact information for you.

I will remove any information in the submission that identifies who or where you are.

My policy on questions I get about your submissions:

If I get any questions or comments about your submission, I will send them to you (unless you'd prefer not to get them). The person who sent it will never get your real name or email address, and you will never get theirs. If you'd like to respond to any of the notes, I'm happy to forward your response in the same manner. However, you are under no obligation to respond. If the writer has a question, I will try to answer it myself, and I tell them that my "guest writers" usually don't respond to questions.

I will never put two people in contact, even if both would like to contact each other. The only exception is if I have met both women in person.

I understand the trust you place in me by contacting me, and I make it my utmost priority to protect your privacy.