Sexuality and gender variance

Thanks to the zealotry of Anne Lawrence, this already sensitive topic has been turned into an ideological battleground, where anyone who disagrees with the Bailey-Blanchard-Lawrence model of sexuality among the gender-variant is a liar or a prude. See The Anne Who Would Be Queen for my analysis of Dr. Lawrence's own sexual issues. I am happy to tell you that Dr. Lawrence's fringe element views are very much in the minority and are largely based on projection on Dr. Lawrence's part.

The sexualization of our community is one of the most onerous prejudices with which we have to contend. Some of us are pushed to the fringes of society, especially our young ones who leave home or drop out of school because of lack of acceptance and even harassment and violence. This leads to limited opportunities and a mentality where sex work (also known as survival sex) can seem like the best or even only available option for making money.

Fortunately, times are changing, and more and more of us are able to transition safely and happily, allowing for lives in mainstream society. That means more and more of us have interesting challenges when dating, especially those of us who are interested in dating men. I will be writing much more on this in the future, to offset the toxic pathologizing bilge being put out by Dr. Lawrence. In the meantime, I encourage all of your to explore your sexuality in a safe, fun, and healthy manner!

LINK: The Sexuality of Transwomen by Annie Richards

Probably the most joyous and positive overview of our sexuality available. Sometimes unavailable because of bandwidth issues.

LINK: Sexuality in Transsexual and Transgender Individuals by Harper Jean Tobin

Arguably the most accessible academic overview available on the topic.

LINK: Sexual Arousal, Lovemaking and Orgasm in Postoperative Transsexual Women by Lynn Conway

Discusses some of the practical matters of sexuality after vaginoplasty.

LINK: Good Vibrations

A great pro-sex, pro woman site for sex toys.

LINK: Orgasms as an M2F by Monica Stewart

A nice overview from a personal perspective.

LINK: Rates of Postoperative Orgasm in Transsexual Women by Anne Lawrence [archive]

The only useful thing on Dr. Horndog's site about sexuality.

Safety tips while out and about

A piece I wrote for my early transitioners which applies to anyone.

A note on sex work

Discusses some of the realities from a harm reduction model.

LINK: The Second First Time by Caitlin Hopkins

A thoughtful essay on orgasm and sexuality in our community.

A rock and a hard place by Devon

A great essay that explores the difficulties of "when to tell."

Dating and disclosure

A response to the essay above, based on personal observations.