Your dreams

A lot of people say, "I wish I could get rich" or "I want to get in shape." A bodybuilder I knew used to say, "They don't want to get in shape, they want to be in shape. They don't want to deal with the effort of getting in shape, they just want the end result."

This is true for transition, too. I get letters from people all the time saying, "I wish I could transition like you." Some of them really have no idea what it would take, and if they really thought about it, they'd realize the effort and sacrifice would not be worth it to them. They have a vague, pleasant dream about what that would be like, but they never act upon that dream.

For those of us who decide this is not just a fantasy, but a dream which we must make come true, we must turn our dreams into goals. But how? Well, first, we need to know what our dreams are.

You can't just think about a dream. You have to write it down. You have to say it aloud. Think of Martin Luther King's inspirational "I have a dream" speech. This is the only way to start changing dreams into concrete goals. Don't worry if they don't seem possible. Write down all your dreams for transition, even seemingly impossible ones.

My transition timetable page might help give you a general sense of how long certain things might take. I've also included some of the dreams that I and others have had in their own transitions as thought starters:

  • Research/Support
    • Learn about my transition options
    • Set up a long-term plan
    • Join a support group
  • Therapy
    • Come to terms with my feelings
    • Get two SRS letters
  • Personal relationships
    • Come out to family
    • Get a divorce
    • Reach a compromise with my partner
    • Have sex as a woman
    • Get married after transition
  • Electrolysis
    • Complete my facial electrolysis
    • Complete my body/genital electrolysis prior to surgery
  • Voice
    • Improve voice though self-practice
    • Improve voice through lessons
    • Have voice surgery
  • Hair
    • Get a good wig
    • Surgically improve hairline
    • Grow my hair longer
    • Regrow some lost hair
  • Hormones
    • Get hormone levels into female range
  • Face surgery
    • Get a trachea shave
    • Get a nose job
  • Body modification
    • Get breast augmentation
    • Lose weight
  • Going full-time
    • Move and go deep stealth
  • Employment
    • Transition at current job
    • Transition at new job
  • Legal changes
    • Get name change made legal
  • SRS
    • Have surgery with Dr. ___

Once you've written down all your dreams, you will eventually need to revise them based on realities. Then we'll call them goals. We'll get to that in a minute. For now, write them all down. Try to put down at least one thing for each of the categories below. You are only limited by your imagination. This is your transition wish list!

Exercise 2: Dreams  

Notes:

  • Write down the rough time frame in months or weeks. Years are too big an increment for realistic planning.
  • While this technique works for any goal (like "I want to write a novel," etc.), we'll stick to transition goals for now.
Category Dream Approximately when?............
Example: SRS Get SRS with Meltzer............................................. in 36 months
  . .
Research/Support . .
  . .
Therapy . .
  . .
Personal relationships . .
  . .
Electrolysis . .
  . .
Voice . .
  . .
Hair . .
  . .
Hormones . .
  . .
Face surgery . .
  . .
Body modification . .
  . .
Go full-time . .
  . .
Employment . .
  . .
Legal changes . .
  . .
SRS . .
  . .
Other . .
  . .
. . .

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