Painful postoperative dilation for trans woman |
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A reader notes:
It’s been a while since we’ve last spoken! I think we last emailed a few years ago before I went for surgery. I’m 18yrs / m2f /post-op for a little over two years now. I’ve done quite well in my social transition, but in terms of dilating, it blows! It still hurts and I’m two years out. I dilate for about two hours once a week, and inserting dilators is only uncomfortable. The real annoyance is when I apply pressure. There’s a weird “burn” tingling sensation at the end of my vagina. It’s usually bad for the first few minutes (which can be a very long few minutes) after which it’s uncomfortable and hard to maintain the pressure needed to keep the dilator in.
I usually can get it in 3.5 inches with ease. No problem, no pain, and not even the slightest bit of discomfort. When it gets to 4 inches, it hurts a bit, but it isn’t bad. When I try to go further, it hurts a lot! Perhaps I should have been more responsible with my dilating and this wouldn’t happen… Wondering if you have any suggestions about this?
My reply:
I have had the exact same problem you describe. It’s like an extremely deep ache when I apply pressure. I have lost some depth because it is so unpleasant to dilate. I find that having a regular sex partner generally resolves that, though—you sort of end up fitting them after an initial period of discomfort. There was one point where I was so hell-bent on regaining some depth that I actually developed a pretty good tear in the back that took a couple of months to heal completely.
I also tend to bleed just about every time I have sex, especially if there’s any kind of intensity to it. As you note, it totally blows.
One thing that was helpful to me was to try different dilators. The snub-nosed lucite ones I got from Meltzer are really good for maintaining width, but they hurt a lot more than the tapered ones I got from Femistent.
The Lara series is the one I have tried. Check them out and let me know what you think.
Dilation tips:
http://www.tsroadmap.com/physical/vaginoplasty/dilation.html
