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Monday, June 30, 2008
A reader notes:
It’s been a while since we’ve last spoken! I think we last emailed a few years ago before I went for surgery. I’m 18yrs / m2f /post-op for a little over two years now. I’ve done quite well in my social transition, but in terms of dilating, it blows! It still hurts and I’m two years out. I dilate for about two hours once a week, and inserting dilators is only uncomfortable. The real annoyance is when I apply pressure. There’s a weird “burn” tingling sensation at the end of my vagina. It’s usually bad for the first few minutes (which can be a very long few minutes) after which it’s uncomfortable and hard to maintain the pressure needed to keep the dilator in.
I usually can get it in 3.5 inches with ease. No problem, no pain, and not even the slightest bit of discomfort. When it gets to 4 inches, it hurts a bit, but it isn’t bad. When I try to go further, it hurts a lot! Perhaps I should have been more responsible with my dilating and this wouldn’t happen… Wondering if you have any suggestions about this?
My reply:
I have had the exact same problem you describe. It’s like an extremely deep ache when I apply pressure. I have lost some depth because it is so unpleasant to dilate. I find that having a regular sex partner generally resolves that, though—you sort of end up fitting them after an initial period of discomfort. There was one point where I was so hell-bent on regaining some depth that I actually developed a pretty good tear in the back that took a couple of months to heal completely.
I also tend to bleed just about every time I have sex, especially if there’s any kind of intensity to it. As you note, it totally blows.
One thing that was helpful to me was to try different dilators. The snub-nosed lucite ones I got from Meltzer are really good for maintaining width, but they hurt a lot more than the tapered ones I got from Femistent.
http://www.femistent.com/
The Lara series is the one I have tried. Check them out and let me know what you think.
Dilation tips:
http://www.tsroadmap.com/physical/vaginoplasty/dilation.html
This is talk, not advice. See Terms of Use for details.
Posted by
Andrea James on 06/30 at 08:23 PM
Physical •
Sexuality •
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Tuesday, March 11, 2008
A reader notes:
Might be useful link for your post-operative care and/or dilation pages:
• Soul Source GRS Dilators
http://www.soulsourceenterprises.com/html/products_grs.html
Further information:
• Vaginoplasty postoperative care, maintenance, and sexuality
This is talk, not advice. See Terms of Use for details.
Posted by
Andrea James on 03/11 at 01:44 PM
Physical •
Sexuality •
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Lynn Conway notes:
Columnist Benjamin Paige, a member of the Board of Directors of the Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire (ICRME), recently published one of the most hideously transphobic screeds we’ve ever seen in the GayZette Denver [later retracted by the publisher]. In response to escalating criticism of Paige’s column, Tom Japhet the President of the Board of ICRME e-mailed me on March 9th, expressing mere “disappointment” with that article and saying that he’d be “discussing it” with Paige. In his e-mail, Japhet mentioned the names of several past transgender members of ICRME, using those names to support his claim that ICRME is a transfriendly organization. I’d wondered about this at the time. It seemed that Japhet was tossing out and exploiting those names, rather than letting the women speak for themselves. On March 10, 2008, Dana Yost, a former member of the ICRME and one of the women mentioned by Japhet, courageously sent us an open letter giving a very different perspective on the ICRME.
Read Lynn’s full report and Dana’s letter here:
Dana Yost: Anti-trans attitudes in the Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/News/US/Benjamin%20Paige/Dana%20Yost%20letter.html
This is talk, not advice. See Terms of Use for details.
Author Julia Serano reports on recent developments in the Alice Dreger defense of J. Michael Bailey:
A “Bailey Controversy” Follow-Up, by Julia Serano
http://feministing.com/archives/008750.html
A Matter of Perspective: A Transsexual Woman-Centric Critique of Alice Dreger’s “Scholarly History” of the Bailey Controversy (PDF)
http://www.juliaserano.com/av/Serano_DregerCommentary.pdf
Even More Dreger Critiquing (MP3 audio file)
http://www.juliaserano.com/av/EvenMoreDregerCritiquing.mp3
The audio file is long and conversational in tone, but will be of interest to anyone who has followed this fiasco.
This is talk, not advice. See Terms of Use for details.
Posted by
Andrea James on 03/11 at 11:41 AM
Sexuality •
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Click here for SCIENTIFIC TRUTH
Tamara ___* is the third most prolific contributor to transkids.us and the current public face of a site “by and about” children who are “homosexual transsexuals.” Tamara has published a helpful scientific diagram showing the validity of Ray Blanchard’s important scientific work on transsexual taxonomy.
And now, someone has finally put together an even more important scientific diagram that brings all of J. Michael Bailey’s scientific truth on sex and sexuality (not just males) into perfect scientific symmetry as well.
SCIENTIFIC TRUTH
Sex and sexuality scientific diagram
Dr. J. Michael Bailey, B.S., Ph.D., scientist
* surname omitted despite thousands of trolls posts by Tamara discussing her identity and name all over the internet.
This is talk, not advice. See Terms of Use for details.
Posted by
Andrea James on 02/27 at 05:41 PM
Sexuality •
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