Transsexual Road Map Notes

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Reader note about “passing” and “acceptance”

Erin sent this note about passing and acceptance, which I wanted to share. Transition is a leap of faith that everything will work out. Many people fear making that leap because they want everything to be perfect. There’s a fine line between being realistic about expectations and being paralyzed by fear. Worry about the things you can change, and don’t worry about the rest. Your feelings about yourself and the attitude you show others will be major factors in how people treat you.

Here’s Erin’s note in its entirety:

“Passing" and “Acceptance.”

We know they are two different things.

Here is my experience on it:

So as I am basically poor, I cannot really afford things like SRS or FFS. I can get by without FFS honestly. Not that I have a striking female face but it is convincing enough as is.

Anyways, the things that no surgery could really fix is my large frame. Yes, I am built like an out of shape linebacker.
at 5’9” and 220 pounds, I won’t be asked to model for Victoria Secret anytime soon.

Anyways, I do what I can. Two things that I did were change my legal name (Nicole Erin Lastname) and my voice is now trained to sound like a woman. Never does anyone on the phone call me “sir” and they always ask for (my male name) and if I am his wife. Not sure if auto-erotica counts for being my own “wife” but anyways…
Everyone knows me as Erin. yes I know the whole Aaron VS Erin but I like Erin. It is truly “me”.

Anyways so my experience is that except for the rudest people out there, no one else gives me a hard time. Once people learn my name and hear my voice, I am “she”. I find it interesting cause with my features, they have GOT to know I am genetically male. Yet they treat me as female.

So for the assimilation process, I feel that changing my name and training my voice have been the two best things that have helped me along. Well that and my awesome fashion sense (I dress “chic") While “passing without question” would be great, it is just not going to happen for me. I will not let that stop me from living as a woman.

But what is living as a woman? To me it means presenting as a woman, and working, having a job. I caught a break and have a job. Nothing big, but of course with a company, Home Depot, who is very much against discrimination.

I think for my sisters out there who fear going full time cause “not everything is perfect “ yet, I would say “do not let that stop you”.
Even if someone, like myself, cannot afford fancy procedures, there are cheap or free ways around certain things. My beard removal involves tweezers, a desk light, and a magnifying mirror (then shaving the rest when I get lazy) but it is smooth.

I think the most important thing I have done though is I don’t make an issue of being TS or woman.
Sure dating is always an issue, but it is for any TS. Even the best looking post-op eventually has to “come out”.

Also, years ago I purchased your voice training program, and I hate to admit it took several years before I got off my butt to actually DO any of the things you said, but once I did, my voice changed. My one sentence summary of the lessons would be - “Learn to restrict the lower part of the voice then learn to fine-tune it”.

Anyways that is my experience to this point.

Further reading:
http://www.tsroadmap.com/mental/accept.html

Thursday, April 28, 2011

New Short Survey on Respectful Language for Trans People

Jamison Green notes:

Ten years ago, we conducted a short survey of our community’s reactions to the use of descriptive terminology in the professional literature of gender identity issues. Basically, we were interested in reforming the literature so it could speak respectfully about transsexual and transgender persons. To do that, we wanted to find out which terms transsexual and transgender people liked, and which they didn’t like. The results of our study were reported at the 2001 scientific symposium of the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (HBIGDA), and had an immediate impact on the hundreds of medical and social scientists who were present.

A lot has changed since 2001, and we thought it would be interesting to re-open the survey, collect new data, compare the results 10 years later with the original results, and present our analysis at the 2011 scientific symposium of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (formerly HBIGDA) this September.

We are asking community members to rate and give us their opinions of certain terms which have been used in the literature, and some of the terms put forth by the community itself, so we can communicate the community’s opinions to the members of WPATH and (we hope) more widely in a subsequent academic publication.

There are no physical or psychological risks associated with responding to this survey, and there are no age restrictions for respondents, though we caution participants that some terms offered for your evaluation may be offensive to you or other individuals. The survey has only 8 questions (though most questions have many options to choose from) and should take less than 20 minutes to complete. Please complete it all in one sitting – if you exit the survey before you complete it, your answers will not be saved.  The survey is scheduled to close June 28, 2011, so please respond soon!

If you are interested in receiving a copy of the paper which will eventually come from this, you will be given an email address at the end of the survey so you can contact the researchers separate from your responses to this survey. Any communication you initiate with us will not be associated with your survey answers, and no identifying information will be retained. We will treat your email address as confidential and will use it only for distribution of the paper to you. Your answers to the survey also will be treated confidentially, and no data reported in our analysis will be traceable to you.

Here’s the link to the survey:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/8RGBH25

Thank you VERY MUCH for participating in this survey and helping us with our research!!

With Gratitude,
Jamison Green, Jason Cromwell, & Dallas Denny

Sunday, April 10, 2011

UCLA demographic report: about 700,000 transgender Americans

Dr. Gary J. Gates, a demographic researcher at UCLA specializing in the demographic and economic characteristics of the LGBT population, has released a report estimating that there are 700,000 people in the United States who identify as transgender. Published estimates (including work by Lynn Conway) suggest prevalence between 1 in 1000 and 1 in 200 Americans. Based on this estimate, trans people have a larger population than many major cities, including Baltimore, Boston, Seattle, and our nation’s capital, Washington D.C. If we all lived in the same city, it would be one of the 20 largest in the country.

The Massachusetts Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance Survey represents one of the few population-based surveys that include a question designed to identify the transgender population. Analyses of the 2007 and 2009 surveys suggest that 0.5% of adults aged 18-64 identified as transgender (Conron 2011).

The 2003 California LGBT Tobacco Survey found that 3.2% of LGBT individuals identified as transgender. Recall that the 2009 California Health Interview Survey estimates that 3.2% of adults in the state are LGB. If both of these estimates are true, it implies that approximately 0.1% of adults in California are transgender.
Several studies have reviewed multiple sources to construct estimates of a variety of dimensions of gender identity. Conway (2002) suggests that between 0.5% and 2% of the population have strong feelings of being transgender and between 0.1% and 0.5% actually take steps to transition from one gender to another. Olyslager and Conway (2007) refine Conway’s original estimates and posit that at least 0.5% of the population has taken some steps toward transition. Researchers in the United Kingdom (Reed, et al., 2009) suggest that perhaps 0.1% of adults are transgender (defined again as those who have transitioned in some capacity).

Notably, the estimates of those who have transitioned are consistent with the survey- based estimates from California and Massachusetts. Those surveys both used questions that implied a transition or at least discordance between sex at birth and current gender presentation.

How many people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender?
http://www2.law.ucla.edu/williamsinstitute/pdf/How-many-people-are-LGBT-Final.pdf

The Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Law and Public Policy at UCLA School of Law
http://www.law.ucla.edu/williamsinstitute

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Transgender rights: can potential employers ask your old name?

For trans people, it’s getting more difficult to eliminate references to one’s old name on background checks and other records, but that doesn’t mean you have to share it with potential employers. In fact, it may be unlawful for them to ask in some jurisdictions. A reader notes:

A hurdle that some transpeople face when applying for jobs are applications that ask for any previous names. From my personal research this appears to be a “gray area” question; not necessarily illegal but could lead to discrimination claims. The sources I used does not mention the applicability to transgendered individuals, but in other cases where the question can lead to discriminatory treatment (e.g. an immigrant changing his/her name to sound more normal for the new country, the marital status of a woman via her maiden name, etc.). Particularly in areas where transgender anti-discrimination employment laws are in effect, this could certainly be applicable to them as well. A comparison I use is when applications ask for your birthdate before a job offer (other than asking if you are of legal age), which could lead to age discrimination for older workers. Cases where they say you do need to reveal your old name is if you have not changed or been able to change any academic credentials they need to look at, need to contact a reference who does not know you (or refuses to call you) by your new name, or for a background check when authorized (for my birthdate analogy this would be true as well). Sources I used include:
http://bcspec.com/blog/tag/illegal-questions/ (name is item #6 they describe)
http://books.google.com/books?id=rzZ-b2Qp89UC&pg=PA120&lpg=PA120#v=onepage&q&f=false (if you are able to view this sample it should take you to the correct page [120] in this book that mentions this subject)
I’m not giving out any suggestions on how this question should be handled if a transgendered individual encounters it, but rather pointing out a question that employers often think is safe to ask may be dicey in some cases to do so (and not just for those in the TG community).

Further reading:
Work transition for transgender people
http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/jobtrans.html

Monday, January 24, 2011

Sample transgender coming out letter for coworkers

A reader sent a good example of a letter informing coworkers and superiors about her transition plans. She notes:

Dear colleagues,

I am writing this letter to inform you of an important change that is currently taking place in my life. It is not easy to explain, but I am going to try. I have wondered a long time about who to tell, when, and how. I am not certain that this is the best way, or even the most opportune time, but I have come to a point when I cannot hide any longer. I would have liked to write each of you individually, rather than in this somewhat mechanical way, but this is clearly impracticable. Many of you I consider as my friends, and I must ask you to believe that I do regret the impossibility of contacting each of you personally.

For most of my life I have struggled with what is medically referred to as Gender Dysphoria, a collective name for a condition in which the biological/physical sex is not consistent with the perception of gender for the person. I have been recently diagnosed with the most extreme form of this condition, better known under the term transsexualism. I have begun an important process that will result in significant changes as I intend to live the rest of my life as a woman.

If I have decided to reveal so much about me today, it is just because I cannot accept any longer the minimisation or denial of what and who I am. I want to be able to communicate normally and honestly about my life, without subterfuge, lies, and fear. I hope that no matter what your reaction is, you’ll take the time to read this letter entirely.

At this point, I would like to be clear: being transsexual is neither a choice nor is it a life-style. It has nothing to do with being transvestite, cross-dresser, drag queen or female impersonator. It has also nothing to do with sex (or desire or preferences) but everything to do with perception of gender identity. Unfortunately, most people equate the concepts of gender and sex, but it is - really - not the same thing. Sex is the fact that a person’s physical characteristics are essentially male or female. These features include both visible components (the external genitalia) and invisible components (internal genitalia, hormones, chromosomes and genes). Gender refers to the general presentation, to the physical characteristics, to belief, to behavior which society relies upon so as to classify a person as “masculine” or “feminine.” Gender identity refers to the inner conviction of a person because it is defined as belonging to one of these categories. Gender Expression of a person (what that person chooses (or not) to reveal to Society) may or may not match their gender identity, because our behavior is often conditioned by strong social pressures. For most people, sex, gender identity and gender expression, the social role we play, are consistent one with another. However, sometimes some people feel that their body does not match what they feel to be, and the way they are expected to interact in society is very different from what they would like. When this happens, it causes a very strong and constant discomfort, which is at best extremely difficult to control. Various degrees exist, and unfortunately it is a condition that worsens over time. This is not a mental illness and is a recognized medical condition for which treatments are appropriate in only certain cases.
Personally, I have always known, in fact as early as age 5, that I was different from other children. By the time I was 8 or 9, I knew what a transsexual was, well before I even knew the facts of life. I was scared to death to tell anyone how I felt and society was not what it is today. So I made every effort to act the way boys were expected to. This strategy worked, and I decided that I’d be better off putting all that behind me. Although I had to fight at times with all my energy to repress these feelings and transform them, I decided I could manage the situation without doing anything about it. Some of you may wonder why I married and had children. That is in fact very simple: I met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with; we knew my condition could evolve but thought it would stay manageable; and we both wanted children. However, a few years ago some dramatic events made me realize that I was growing unhappy because I was not addressing those feelings. I realised that while I had established meaningful friendships, I could never be really myself, I could never be truly open. I also realised I was increasingly questioning who I really was. I did not want to impose a miserable life upon my family, so I started therapy with the hope to achieve balance. However, after a long process, the only viable choice ahead of me was to recognise the truth, be brave and seek medical help so I could live the rest of my life as a woman.
Ok, If you managed to read this far, it is quite possible that you do not know how to feel. Most of us have no personal experience with transexualism, and lack even a basic language to describe it. If you find this strange, embarrassing, or even wonderful, just know that your reaction is not atypical. For what it is worth, most people’s reaction to my news have been remarkable in compassion, understanding and support.
About a year ago, I started seeking medical help. After a careful and detailed screening, I have been accepted to enter a very strict, internationally agreed standard of medical care. I am now followed by a team of doctors, comprising expertise from various disciplines, and acting in close concert. I have recently been placed under Hormonal Replacement Therapy and will enter now a so-called “real-life” stage. I must now live and work as a woman full-time for at least a year before applying for gender reassignment surgery. I intend to commence officially this (kind of) probationary year on January 2011. Those of you who know me from years ago have certainly noticed the evolution of my appearance (now, you understand why). You can expect to notice increasing physical changes. I will continue to dress pretty much the same way as I do now, but from time to time I will be wearing more typically business appropriate feminine clothes.
For some time now I have been living two lives. Here at work, I am known as [Male Name] or J.C., but to my friends, my family and almost everywhere else, I am a woman known as Jessica, or simply Jessie. In preparation for the real-life phase, I have recently started the process of legally changing my first name to Jessica. Similarly, all my work registrations with [Company name] (phone, email, badge, etc) will be eventually changed to Jessica [Last Name]. Since I am legally changing my first name to Jessica, it is courteous to now refer to me by that name (or Jessie as a diminutive). It is also courteous to now refer to me as ‘she’ rather than ‘he’.

I know this is going to be hard for many to adjust to, even with the best will. I know there will be an adjustment period where you will unconsciously use he, him or even [Male Name] instead of she, her or Jessie/Jessica. I will be patient, and in fact do understand. It took my family and friends a while to switch, too. So do not worry about it. You will use the other name, other pronouns etc., even if you are trying hard. I am not touchy, and I think that a good dose of humor about the whole thing is necessary. I will not get upset because of genuine mistakes, but I would appreciate if you make an effort. I will continue to answer to my former name without any resentment or embarrassment when done without malice. 
Beyond this, there is no need to treat me differently. I am still the same person, and I hope you will continue to relate to me like you do now. I want to assure you that I will still be the person you have worked with and known for the past fifteen years. It is important for me that you understand I did not play a character when I interacted with you during all these years. I had just muted certain aspects for what I hope to be now obvious reasons. This means you can count on my professionalism throughout and after the transition process. I will try my best to minimize any disruptions caused by my transition on my work and on the team. I shall continue to carry on my duties as before, and hope you will find no difference in your dealings with me in my new appearance. With luck, this will all be short wonder, and eventually new perceptions will overlay the image of the person I was, and life will go on. I welcome your suggestions about making this easier for all of us.
I am currently trying to address all the people who need to know before end of this year. However, this represents quite a big number of people on several continents. So how should you react when addressing someone who clearly knows me but apparently does not know yet? I would appreciate you introduce and refer me to others as Jessica. While I am open about being a transsexual woman, it’s not courteous for you to tell others about this. It is definitely not a secret, but it is my job to tell people if and when I feel it is important. So please, just refer that person to me.
It is not my intention to either embarrass or upset my friends and colleagues, although I am realistic enough to know that I will not be readily accepted by everyone and that some may have difficulty accepting me. I will respect this right, but know that I am not interested in engaging in futile arguments if you strongly disapprove of what I’m doing. I do recognize the fact that to some people I will seem to be carrying out an act which is morally wrong. But this is a road I must take, whatever the consequences. I do not expect you to understand or approve of my decision to change gender. However, I expect you to respect my decision and that you recognize the fact that this decision has been reached after years of unhappiness, and in the full knowledge that I am hurting people close to me whom I love, giving up much that I value. I ask for your tolerance, and, if you can supply it, a continuation of your friendship.
So, what if you have other questions? I am prepared to talk with anyone who wants to know more about my situation, and would rather do this than have misconceptions exist due to lack of knowledge about transsexualism.

1. Everyone is welcome to stop by and talk with me. I’m happy to answer any questions (well, almost any), and I assure you I will tell no one what you asked me. Obviously, I’m pretty good at keeping things secret.
2. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with me, you may talk with [Company Name] Human Resource Manager, who can then get an answer from me and get it back to you anonymously. He has also access to the coordinator of my medical team in case you prefer the question is not addressed to me at all.
3. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with me or HR, I’ve listed some books, articles, websites and movies I feel deal with the subject in a good way. You should be able to find these easily.
Please also feel free to contact me if you feel this will help our relationship in the future. Communication seldom does any harm. I am very flexible and open to suggestions that minimize difficulties and awkward situations so we all can work together. I acknowledge that it may be difficult for you and i am eager to help things go smoothly.
Following an agreement with HR and my management, I’ll be away Mid-January to give you a chance to process all the information in this letter. When I return to work on, I’ll be doing so as Jessica.
Best Regards,
Jessica

Selected Resources:

1. “True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism--For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals” by Mildred L. Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley. While I am not agreeing with everything in this book, it is a comprehensive reference.
2. “She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders” by Jennifer Finney Boylan. This is a wonderfully written book and a quiet accurate reflection of what I live.
3. “Normal”, Starring Tom Wilkinson and Jessica Lange (DVD - Oct 7, 2003). This movie depicts the difficulties of transition for everyone involved, with realism and no judgments. There are other interesting movies (Soldier’s Girl, Transamerica, Beautiful Boxer), but this one is in another league in my opinion.
4. http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/conway.html. I, like many before me, will be indebted to Lynn Conway forever. She was the lighthouse bringing me to shore. There’s such a wealth of information here, and it is in different languages as well.

Further reading:

Work transition for transsexual women
http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/jobtrans.html