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Reading Mike: The Annotated Bailey: Chapter 8, page 154
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Commentary |
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[154]
8 Terese and Cher |
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His activities also progressed. He used a coke
bottle to penetrate his anus, fantasizing that it was a penis penetrating
his vagina. Chuck’s artistic talents began to come into play. He constructed
a "robot man" that could fulfill the fantasy of penetration. "Robot
man" had a body, a penis made of a dildo, and even an arm that Chuck
could manipulate to make it feel as if it was stroking his back. Chuck attached
a mirror to his bedroom ceiling, and could view the image of the robot man
on top of Chuck, dressed as a woman, "penis" in Chuck’s anus.
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Chuck also began to take more elaborate steps
to create the image of himself as a woman. He wore fake breasts and a feminine
mask. (Chuck still had a beard.) He purchased several fake vaginas from
adult bookstores. Although these are made for heterosexual men to view and
penetrate, Chuck reversed that function. Born with one testicle, he discovered
that he could invert his penis and scrotum into his body. He would then
glue a fake vagina over his inverted genitals. Ever the artist (and an exhibitionist
as well), Chuck frequently videotaped himself as a woman. In one segment,
Chuck begins by standing "naked" (except for shoes) with mask
and fake breasts and fake vagina. As Donna Summer sings "Love to Love
You Baby" in the background, Chuck begins to walk toward the camera,
somewhat awkwardly in high heels. Cut to Chuck, similarly "dressed,"
astride a dildo (which is anally penetrating him, though the image is constructed
to look as if the penetration is vaginal), with the soundtrack (from a porno
film) of a woman’s sexual moaning.
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These activities, and the fantasies they fulfilled, were enormously
erotic to Chuck, and they were all-consuming. He spent all night cross-dressing
and enacting fantasies, and slept all day. He had abandoned art (except
for his artistic contributions to his sexual fantasies). His family was
concerned, because they felt that he was physically neglecting himself.
He did not bathe regularly, for example, and others complained that he stank.
Most of Chuck’s physical energies were devoted to cross-dressing and
related sexual activity. Cher recalls that once, when Chuck was cross-dressed,
having sex with "robot man,"
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