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Transitioning early in life: Frya's advice
I am a Flemish transsexual woman who also transitioned relatively early in
life. I transitioned at age 22. I turned 50 last year. I had just finsihed my
last go at trying to be a man. I had been cordained clergy in the Oude Katholiek
Kerk van Holland (the Old Catholic Church of Holland), where as Relgious was
I involved in parish work and very deeply mystical studies of Christianity.
I had devoted my heart and soul to Hielige Moeder Kerk, after having had a transcendental
conversion experience in Kerstfeêst (Christmas ). Since a child, I had
sought help from God to make me a girl. In my early adolesecence, I cried myself
to sleep each night praying God to make me a girl. My brother had convinced
to go to Kerstfeêstmes because he knew the man which was Prester. I skeptically
agreed because he promised that they would not try to convert me. They didn't.
My experience was purely internal and set me on the path for the next six year
becoming a monk and prester. I tried to sublimate my feelings of wanting to
be a woman by offering them to God. It did not ever completely werk and six
years later, I left the Kerk in Pasch (Easter) of 1976, I had been on hormones
for about a month or so. I mention this that those who may be troubled by religous guilt as I was since
several years aferwards. God , however you may believe does care about your
gender, or one can say that God made you this way for God's purpose. Over the
years I learned that I can still be a spiritual person without the Church. The
Old Testament injunctions against crosdressing do not really apply if you believe
as a Christian. Jesus said that if one follows the Laws of loving one's neighbour
as oneself and loving God totally, you have fulfilled the Ten Commandments and
that these Laws superceded the Old Testament. You need not feel guilty over
being transsexual. It does not make you a sinner. But if you need the absolution
to feel better, so be it. Below you will find my absolution to you as a priest.
For once a prester always a prester. There numerous sites on the web for Christian
transsexuals and if you are troubled by guilt seek them out. They are not difficult
to find.
So much for the Christian side of things. It is however true that you will
all your inner, spiritual strength. People will revile you, for people are afraid
of anything that upsets their carefully constructed weireldaonshcang
or worldview. Sometimes they react with violence. I have had that happen to
me. As a young person who is intending to make the change, please listen and take
heed of this advice or at least some of it. It may save your life. First of
all, I KNOW what that pain and longing to have your body match your soul is.
However, before embarking on this voyage, try to plan things out as much as
possible. Where are you going to live? How are you going to support yourself?
What emotional support are you to have? Who will be your friends? If you have
few or none, this is still important, for as you go through transition you will
meet people who will like you and accept for who you are and those who won't
or who only seek to take advantage of your youth and beauty. If you can, try to enlist the support of your family. Look for a local transgender
support group for teens or young people. This is a place to make friends and
get good advice. If you end up on the streets, life can be very difficult and
brutal. If you turn to prostitution, then be even more carefull to find friends
you trust. If you give blow jobs or have people fuck you or you fuck them, ALWAYS
ALWAYS use condoms and lubricaant with a spermicide that kills HIV/AIDS; such
as non-oxynol-9/ Please, under no circumstances allow yourself to have sex without
a codom and protection. It may be tempting if the johns offer more money to
you, but I can tell you AIDS is not a picnic. The disease itself KILLS! It does
not care how young you are. You can get infected at any age and even just having
sex once with an infected partner. I have seen dozens of our sisters die slow,
excruciating, lonely deaths because of AIDS. I have visited sisters in the hospital
dying form this horrible disease and have known girls and a few guys dying as
young as 23. It may hamper your chances for surgery and AIDS drugs are expensive. If you shoot hormones ALWAYS ALWAYS use a new syringe. NEVER share rigs or
and part of the outfit, points or anything else. If you must shoot and cannot
get new syringes, NEVER share if you can help it. to sanitize a syringe one
may use a rigfull of chlorine bleach, drawn up into the syringe and then squirted
out in to a sink, then filll it twice with clean water. However, this will not
necessarily prevent you from getting infected, as blood can stay in tiny parts
of the syringe and you may not see it. Doctor Barry Zevin, medical director
of San Francisco's 'TG Tuseday' Clinic a San Francisco Public health clinic
recommends using 1 inch to two inch sized needles of 21 to 22 gauge. Hormones
are thick and viscous and do not draw or shoot well from smaller rigs, such
as 26 gauge insulin syringes; In fact, you may not even be able to inject from
that small of a gauge. Always swab the area with rubbing alcohol first, then
choose the injections site carefully in the upper part of your butt, where there
is a lot fat. If you can use pills or patches so much the better, but remember
using higher doses to speed up the feminisation process is a very bad idea.
It doesn't work. In fact, o.d.ing on hormones can kill you by causing blood
clots and other problems, as well as have the opposite effect. It can actually
impede your body's ability to process hormones. Hormones are just that,ûhormones,
in fact, steroid hormones. That means that they are in the same class of drugs
as the anabolic steroids that athletes use to improve their performance. Now
hormones can actually reduce your anxiety, if used right and make you feel calmer.
That's because of they create a proper hormone balance, too much, creates an
imbalance and can make you feel bitchy, angry, &tc. That's why it's so important
to follow a doctor's advice....if you use IV drugs.....buy from someone you
trust and have done business....be careful....by trying to rip them off If you use IV drugs, the same safety rules apply. and be aware that you don't
know what you're getting in the way of steet drugs. You don't know what they're
cut with or how strong they are. Try using a smaller than normal amount to minimise
the risk of harm form impuitites. Always buy from some one you tust and whom
you have dine business with in the past, if you can. Be careful, don't play
games with dealers by trying to rip the, off or getting into debt with them.
I promise you you'll be sorry. If they don't kill you outright, they may disfigure
you. Clean injection equipment is available from needle exchange sites. If they
don't have hormones needles tell them to get some. Explain that your needs are
different. If you use crack or smoke speed, try to regulate when and where and how much
you use. For instance, maybe only use on weekends or every other day, instead
of every day. Remember the more you spend on street drugs to get high, the less
you're likely to have for surgery. Silicone injections are a no-no; They fuck
up your immune systeem and can migrate to different parts of the body. I had
a colleague, named Sherry. She worked at an AIDS programme and died of AIDS
in 1997. She had had injections in her cheeks when she was younger and working
the streets. When I knew her in the early 1990s the silicone had migrated from
her cheekbones, to her cheeks and looked terrible. Sherry was good-hearted,
caring person who dedicated the last five of six years of her life to helping
sisiters and brothers in the sreets. She was my friend as well, and I miss her
still. I was naïve zhen started I transition and made many mistakes and saw the
wrong end of a gun too many times. But The Goddess seems to have had a different
idea in mind and I beleive that Moeder Kybellê (Mother Cybele) had something
else for me in mind. To day, I practice a sprirituality that goes back to stoneage
time, about 10.000 years. Transsexuals were pristesses and came to be called
Gallæ. I am also a social worker which has dedicated the past 18 years
of her life to helping her Sisters and Brothers. Most importantly, for safety and efficiency of hormonal usage by the body,
use them under a doctor's supervision, IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. Hormones are serious
drugs and can affect your health in many ways and also using dirty needles can
give you hepatitis which will fuck up your liver. If your liver stops working
you die. Transplants are expensive and hard to get. However, if you do it carefully,
and safely, you can become the beautiful self you were meant to be. You have
your whole life ahead of you. Please excuse my poor English; it is not my native tongue. You may publish
this in whole or in part. I include photos to show different phases of my life.
Unfortunately, I have no photos erlier than the 1980s except for childhood photos. Yours most faithfully. Below: Fryâ van der Haeghetessan, c. 1981
Send me your thoughts, links, and advice! If you transitioned in your teens or twenties and have any advice you'd like to share, please contact me , and I'll give it a permanent (and anonymous) home. |
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