Transitioning early in life: Erin's advice

Erin sent this in June 2006.

---

Hmm, 3 things I wish I did differently... well I suppose:

1. I would have kept pushing my transgender feelings on my parents at a younger age. When I was 10 I had told my mother that I liked wearing my sister's clothing. She had given my some negative feedback because of it and I suppressed and hid those feelings for a long, long time. I wish I would have made my parents understand what was going on. I suppose this is my wish that I would have started younger then I did.

2. Saved more money when I was younger and working. I had spent a lot of it on things like a new computer or a stereo. Of course, things like that are fun to have and cool but really, I wished I saved more of that money so I would have had more now to do things such as breast augmentation or have more saved towards SRS.

3. I should have done better research when it came to laser hair removal. I went to one place and really was ripped off. I gave them so much money each month and they did a poor job. I didn't realize this until a friend of mine suggested another place that she went to. I didn't know how bad of a job they did till I went to this new place and they did so much better for literally half the price. I wish I hadn't wasted so much money on them because I really could have used that money for other important things like clothes. Do your research when it comes to things like hair removal, therapy, etc...

Three things I feel I did right...

1. After I realized that I wanted to transition, I knew it would take finances to make it happen. Thus, my ticket to transitioning was a good job and to get a good job I had to finish school. I put my mind to it and graduated as fast as I could. It took me two years to finish out and I now have a bachelor's in Computer Science and a decent job that has afforded me to do things such as laser hair removal, health insurance for HRT and a little extra income to save towards surgeries.

2. I thought long and hard about transition. I did my research into the risks and benefits to HRT and how transitioning would affect my life and the people around me. After much thought, I had accepted the realities and facts that could happen if I did decide to transition. When I did, I had my mind set and a certain peace with what could happen to me and the life around me. Fortunately, in preparing for the worst, it never happened.

3. I am patient. I laid out a plan for my transition and what I wanted to get done by when. Everyone told me that you can't make a plan for transitioning, it never works out that way. Well, so far my plan has worked and I think it has because I set attainable goals. From starting DIY HRT and setting a goal to find a therapist within one year and then get with a doctor and going fulltime by Christmas 2005 are among the couple that I set and achieved because I feel I gave myself enough time I was comfortable with but not too quickly that I would set myself up for failure and then be depressed about it. Some other goals are breast augmentation by the end of 2006 to early 2006 and SRS on or before my 30th birthday. So to anyone who thinks a plan cannot work, it can work as long as you set realistic goals but always remember that nothing is set in stone.


Send me your thoughts, links, and advice!

If you transitioned in your teens or twenties and have any advice you'd like to share, please contact me , and I'll give it a permanent (and anonymous) home.